Premarital Sex - Conclusion
Premarital sex has no moral grounds, it is against God, and it is unsafe physically and emotionally. Although sex is pleasurable, it is designed by God to be enjoyed by two married people.
Premarital Sex - Where Should We Draw the Line?
A frequent question in relation to premarital sex is, "If we can't have sex, how far can we go?" A better question would be "How far should we go?" God's Word does not give us a detailed "list" of things a couple should or shouldn't do before they are married. Some use this as an excuse to "push the envelope" as close to premarital sex as possible. However, just because the Bible does not directly address what a couple should or shouldn't do, that does not give us license to do everything up to the borderline of premarital sex. By essence, "foreplay" is designed to be "before sex" and to get a couple ready for sex. Logically then, all forms of "foreplay" should be restricted to couples who are married. Anything that could be considered "foreplay" should be avoided until marriage.
So, if sexual activity and all forms of foreplay should be restricted to married couples, what can a pre-married couple do? This is to some degree up to the couple and their own relationship with God. It is generally recommended that a couple not go past holding hands, hugging, and light kissing before marriage. The more a married couple has to share exclusively between themselves, the more special and unique the sexual relationship becomes.
Premarital Sex - What If It is Already Too Late?
If you have already engaged in premarital sex, you should make a commitment with God, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and yourself to remain sexually pure from this point on until marriage. Ask God for help and strength to remain sexually pure until marriage. God will provide the strength (Philippians 4:13) and grace to overcome the temptation to have sex, as long as you are willing and careful not to put yourself in a place of temptation. Remember the Lord's Prayer: "Lead us not into temptation?" That does not mean He will deliver us from the consequences of our own bad choices. If you fall to temptation, it is not because God led you there.
1 Corinthians 10:13 declares, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." It is possible to fight temptation.
Also, it is important to remember that God can and does forgive the sin of premarital sex. When a person places his or her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation, desiring to turn away from the old life of sin, all sins are forgiven. That includes past, present, and future, big and small. Jesus died to pay the penalty for all of our sins, including premarital sex. Once they are forgiven, they are all forgiven. Colossians 1:13-14 says, "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." What we are to do is confess our sins. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Endnotes1 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Sexually Transmitted Diseases Surveillance, 2000, Atlanta, CDC 2001.